Jupiter Ascending

My View:  Jupiter Ascending  (2015) PG-13   Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis) has always felt that she was destined for something better than her job as a janitor. But it’s much to her surprise when an interplanetary warrior, Caine Wise (Channing Tatum), shows up and informs her that her destiny is to be part of a royal family who rules the solar system.  "The Matrix" was a fun movie that took a little effort to understand. This film, also directed by The Wachowskis, is complicated, but I could see it forty times and still not understand it all. The film is a big mess, with special effects so horrible that, at one point, I thought I was watching an old Claymation movie from the 60's. The dialog is incredibly stupid as in, "Bees know royalty." There is absolutely no chemistry between Kunis and Tatum, with Kunis acting like a 16-year-old girl around Tatum's character (who, by the way, is part wolf). The movie uses the same plot device twice, making me think; "Didn't I already see this?" And Oscar nominee, Eddie Redmayne, chews up scenery like he is channeling a 90's version of Nicolas Cage. By the end of the film, your biggest question will be: "Why does Channing Tatum have Spock ears?"  My Rating: You Would Have to Pay Me to See it Again   Jupiter Ascending Website

FamilyFaire:  The SpongeBob Move: Sponge Out of Water (2015)  PG   Someone has stolen the Krabby Patty secret formula. Life in Bikini Bottom turns to chaos, and it’s up to SpongeBob and his friends to catch the culprit and return the formula.  If you are a kid and a fan of the TV show, you will love this film. If you are an adult, you probably won't have a good time, even if you are a fan. The movie is aimed at kids, with lots of color and stupid comedy bits. I did like the animation during the live-action parts with Antonio Banderas as the bad-guy pirate. It's an okay kid’s movie that will probably bore adults.   My Rating: Cable  The SpongeBob Movie Website

Indiefest:  Still Alice  (2014)  PG-13  Alice (Julianne Moore) is a high respected linguistics professor who gets the shock of her life – she is diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s disease. She and her family must deal with her rapid decline. Julianne Moore gives an Oscar worthy performance as we see her struggle with her diminishing faculties. She is truly dazzling on the screen, running the gamut of emotions. Kristen Stewart gives the best performance of her career as the black sheep of the family who understands how Alice is feeling. I just wish the script was better at giving us the big emotional moments, but it rarely does, and lets down the amazing cast performances.    My Rating: Bargain Matinee   Still Alice Website

Indiefest: Love, Rosie (2014)  R  Rosie (Lily Collins) and Alex (Sam Claflin) have been best friends since they were five years old. But, life took Rosie and Alex in different directions. They reconnect, and now they must decide…is it just a friendship or is it something more? I enjoyed this British rom-com, especially Lily Collins, who has a nice comedic touch. Sam Claflin makes a perfect romantic partner for her, and there are some sparks between his character and Rosie. It's a fun film that says that it's never too late to find love.    My Rating: Bargain Matinee   Love, Rosie Facebook page

Forgotten Film: Dead Calm (1989)  R   Sam Neil and Nicole Kidman play grieving parents who are trying to get over the death of their son. They go on a sailing vacation to reconnect with each other. Out in the middle of the ocean, they encounter a charming young man (Billy Zane) who is sailing alone on another boat, but there is more to his story than he lets on. This is a tense thriller with three excellent performances, especially by Kidman. The story centers around her and to watch her character evolve before our eyes is almost magical. The film has a great plot that will keep you guessing until the very end.   My Rating: Full Price   Dead Calm Info   

Weird Credits: From the credits of Jupiter Ascending: Movement coach

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You: The Last Five Years  (2014) PG-13  A musical with Anna Kendrick? Yes, please!   The Last Five Years Website 

Until Next Time!

The Boy Next Door

My View:    The Boy Next Door (2015)  R  High school teacher Claire (Jennifer Lopez) has just come off a messy divorce. She has a one-night stand with a young neighbor (Ryan Guzman) who then develops an obsession with her. I was looking for the door about five minutes into this film. The idea that Jennifer Lopez's character, who looks like Jennifer Lopez and therefore, could get any man out there, would lust for and have a one-night stand with a nineteen-year-old is laughable, but then again, so is the dialogue. The plot holes in this film are about as wide as the empty theatres.  My Rating: Cable   The Boy Next Door Website

Indiefest:   Cake (2014)  R   Claire (Jennifer Aniston) suffers from constant pain. Not only does Claire have physical scars, she also has mental ones. She has driven away everyone, including her chronic pain support group. Now she only has her housekeeper (Adriana Barraza). Claire’s world is shaken when a fellow group member commits suicide. This film was written, it seems, to give Aniston every advantage of getting an Oscar nomination. Make her look slightly ugly but still look like Jennifer Aniston. Check. Make her character slightly unlikable but not so much that she isn't redeemable. Check. Have a bunch of well-respected actors show up for bit parts so we can put their names on the poster. Check. Have something in her past that we don't talk about for two-thirds of the film and then finally reveal what we already knew happened. Check. The one thing the producers missed to get Aniston her Oscar?  Write a good script.  My Rating: Cable  Cake Website

Familyfaire:   Song of the Sea (2104)  PG  Saoirse is a child who is the last of the selkies, a legendary group that can transform from seals into people. Now she is on a journey to free fairy creatures who are trapped in the modern world. This is one of the best-animated movies I have seen over the past five years, and it will become a classic, I believe. The film is beautiful and moving. The classically done animation is a joy to watch, and the storyline is original. Great blending of classic Celtic folk tales and a modern setting make this film one of the most inventive and imaginative films I have seen.  My Rating: I Would Pay to See it Again   Song of the Sea Website

Indiefest:   The Humbling (2014)  R   Simon Axler (Al Pacino) is an actor whose world is turned upside down when he starts an affair with Pegeen (Greta Gerwig). This is Al Pacino playing Al Pacino with an insecurity complex. For most actors, the amount of scenery chewing scenes would be overwhelming and tedious, but Pacino pulls it off. There is great chemistry between Pacino and Gerwig. Their scenes together are the best moments in the film. I thoroughly enjoyed this film and watching a esteemed actor in an impressive part was the reason.  My Rating: Full Price   The Humbling Website

Forgotten Films:   Martin (1977)  R   An awkward, teenage boy (John Amplas) has a secret; he thinks he is an 84-year-old blood craving vampire. He has just moved into a new town to live with his cousin and doesn’t know anyone. Trying to make new friends isn’t easy, especially when you tend to kill the people you meet and drain their blood. With an unusual and interesting take on the vampire movie, this film, directed by horror legend George a. Romero, never lets you know if Martin really is a vampire or just nuts. The directors of current horror films could learn a lot from watching this film.  My Rating: Bargain Matinee   Martin Info

Weird Credits:   From the credits of The Boy Next Door: cat trainer

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You:   Jupiter Ascending (2015)  PG-13  Not sure exactly what this film is about other than Channing Tatum has a dye job but it got him, Mila Kunis and Eddie Redmayne, so I will watch it.   Jupiter Ascending Website

Until Next Time!