Friday, February 9, 2018

Fifty Shades Freed

My ViewFifty Shades Freed  (2018) R  Anastasia (Dakota Johnson) and Christian (Jamie Doman) are married, but their marriage is threatened by Jake Hyde (Eric Johnson). For a movie that has a ton of sex scenes, this is one unsexy film. With a plot that makes very little sense, the film moves from one sex scene to another; sometimes there is almost no space between them. The dialogue is laughable. Early on Anastasia says, “Boobs in Boobland” to give you an idea of the sparkling wit this film displays. The two leads have absolutely no chemistry on screen, and the sex scenes feel like two actors doing a sex scene instead of two passionate people in love. You can almost hear the director off camera giving them cues on what they should do to each other next. If you took out all the sex in this movie, you would have a beautiful travelogue about some very rich tourist spots, but it would still be a very dull movie.    My Rating: You Would Have to Pay Me to See It Again   Fifty Shades Freed Website
Indiefest:  Spilled Milk  (2017)  A documentary about two lifelong friends, Omar and Jaqai (the director of the film), and how Omar’s Sickle Cell Disease affects both of their lives. Using animation and humor, the film explores what Sickle Cell Disease is, the effects that it has on the people who have it, and the possible cure for it. We get an inside look at just how devastating this disease is as it continually puts Omar in the hospital when he experiences so much pain. The film also spotlights just how little doctors and nurses know about the disease since they rarely encounter someone who has it. Spilled Milk is an imaginative and fascinating look at a disease that I knew very little about, but this isn’t just a documentary about a disease, it’s also about friendship.   My Rating:  Full Price   Spilled Milk Website
In Case You Missed It (Movies just released on DVD/BluRay):  A Bad Moms Christmas (2017)  R   The bad moms (Kristen Bell, Mila Kunis, and Kathryn Hahn) are back, and they are tired of creating the perfect Christmas, so they plan to rebel like the bad moms they are. I liked the first film, but this one misses the mark. I only laughed once and giggled a couple of more times, but that’s it because most of the material just isn’t funny. I love the three leads, but they are let down by a very skimpy plot that you can see coming from almost the film’s first frame. I also missed Christina Applegate, who was the villain in the first film but only makes a cameo in this one.   My Rating:  Cable    A Bad Moms Christmas Website
In Memory of Ed Wood (A Movie I've Only Seen in Trailers but Just Looks Like a Bad Idea):  Acrimony (2018)  R  A faithful wife (Taraji P. Henson) tires of standing by her cheating husband (Lyriq Bent) when she discovers that he is leaving her for another woman. Now it’s time for revenge. Look, I love Taraji P. Henson, but all I have to say about this film is that it’s written and directed by Tyler Perry.    Acrimony Info
Forgotten FilmZathura: A Space Adventure  (2005)  PG  Two brothers (Jonah Bobo, Josh Hutcherson) began playing an old board game, and suddenly their home is hurled through space. Think Jumanji in space, but a whole lot more fun. As the brothers play the game (they figure out that the only way they are going to get back to earth is to finish the game) their actions become more dangerous. The film is a blast to watch, and the two kids work well with each other on the screen. I enjoyed the performance of Dax Shepard who plays an astronaut they pick up along the way.    My Rating: Full Price   Zathura: A Space Adventure Info

Weird Credits:  From the credits of Fifty Shades Freed:  Truck Costumer

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You: Deadpool 2 (Untitled Deadpool Sequel)  (2018)  I have no clue what this film will be about (read the IMDB summary, it’s hilarious). All I know is I loved the first one and can’t wait to see this one.   Untitled Deadpool Sequel Website

Until Next Time!

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