I See Bad Movies So You Don't Have To!
A weekly look at the movies, both past and present. The name of this blog comes from the fact that I stay until the credits have ended.
Ratings from Best to Worst:
1). I Would Pay to See it Again
2). Full Price
3). Bargain Matinee
4). Cable
5). You Would Have to Pay Me to See it Again
As always these are who I think are going to win on Sunday night, not who I think should win. If I have a Spoiler listed, it's a film that I think has a chance to win.
Winners in Green.
Best Picture: Oppenheimer
Best Director: Christopher Nolan - Oppenheimer
Best Actress: Lily Gladstone - Killers of the Flower Moon Spoiler: Emma Stone - Poor Things
Best Actor: Cillian Murphy - OppenheimerSpoiler: Paul Giamatti - The Holdovers
Best Supporting Actress: Da’Vine Joy Randolph - The Holdovers
Best Supporting Actor: Robert Downey Jr. - Oppenheimer
Adapted Screenplay: Cord Jefferson - American Fiction Spoiler: Christopher Nolan - Oppenheimer
Original Screenplay:Justine Triet and Arthur Harari - Anatomy of a Fall Spoiler: David Hemingson - The Holdovers
Animated Feature Film: Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse Spoiler: The Boy and the Heron
Documentary Feature Film: 20 Days in Mariupol
International Feature Film: The Zone of Interest
Original Score: Ludwig Göransson - OppenheimerSpoiler: Robbie Robertson - Killers of the Flower Moon
Original Song: Billie Eilish and Finneas: What Was I Made For? - BarbieSpoiler: Mark Ronson and Andrew Wyatt: I’m Just Ken - Barbie
Sound: Oppenheimer Spoiler: The Zone of Interest
Makeup and Hairstyling: Maestro Spoiler: Poor Things
My View: Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom (2023) PG-13 In Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom, having failed to defeat Aquaman (Jason Momoa) the last time, Black Manta (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II) is determined to find the mythic Black Trident, a weapon that could help him defeat the man that killed his father. Aquaman must turn to his imprisoned brother Orm (Patrick Wilson) to defend his family and the world from irreversible destruction. I was not too fond of the first Aquaman film, feeling the film was too silly and only worked slightly because of the charm and charisma of Jason Momoa. This film is better than the first one but not by much. The film feels underdeveloped, and it takes forever to get going. Black Manta is back and is determined to get his revenge. He finds a magical trident that teaches him how to use ancient technology that is warming the world even faster than anyone thought would happen. Aquaman must turn to his brother, the same one he defeated and imprisoned. The plot gets complicated, the ancient technology somehow uses computers and another bad guy is supposed to be badder than the Black Manta. The film goes on too long, and the big finish is over in what seems like one mighty blow. I don’t think anyone other than Momoa will shed a tear that this will probably be the last of Aquaman. By the way, Amber Heard is in this as Aquaman’s wife/queen, but there is an Octopus named Topo who probably has more screen time than she does. My Rating: Cable Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom Website Now playing in theatres nationwide.
My View: Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire (2023) PG-13 Kora (Sofia Boutella) is a stranger with a mysterious past, who, after crash landing on a moon, is allowed to start a new life among a peaceful settlement of farmers. However, an evil Regent named Balisarius (Fra Fee) and his cruel emissary, Admiral Noble (Ed Skrein), come to the settlement with the intent of destruction. Now, Kora must gather a group of insurgents and mercenaries to fight Balisarius and his army. This is a mess of a film. It feels like it should have been a series, not a two-parter movie. The film starts with a voice-over that tells us a story, one which I could not tell you what that story is. And that’s how this film begins. The film feels like it’s taken the plot from a terrible YA novel and then took out what made that novel almost work and thrown it away. We spend most of the film on a quest to find warriors throughout the galaxy who will join the quest with Kora to take on the evil empire. There is a story here somewhere, but it never finds it. I like Sofia Boutella in the role of Kora, and she makes a believable fighter who could take on an empire by herself. However, the rest of the cast is given almost nothing to work with, and the writing is so clumsily done, with virtually no hope of giving us any reason why anyone would join this sure-to-be hopeless quest. Besides characters that seem to change their minds in midstream, the film’s cinematography is so poorly done that it becomes a distraction. By the end of the film, I didn’t care about any of the characters or what will happen to them in the second film. My Rating: Cable Rebel Moon: Part One Website Now playing on the Netflix platform.
My View: The Iron Claw (2023) R The story of the professional wrestling family, the Von Erichs, who went from fame and fortune to horrible tragedy in just a few years. I have always been a big wrestling fan, and the Von Erichs were my favorite wrestlers of the 80s. They did something that no one thought could be done, filled football stadiums with wrestling shows, and took their brand of wrestling worldwide long before WWF and Vince thought it was possible. The story of the Von Erichs is one of tragedy, of Shakespearean proportions, as like a Shakespearian king, their father was a man who believed his sons were destined for greatness and nothing would stop them from becoming world champions. Like many Shakespearian characters, they were destined for greatness and profound tragedy. The film’s center is Kevin, played by Zac Efron, a son who never quite met the expectations of his father, Fritz, played by Holt McCallany. The film is filled with foreshadowing, as a black cloud always seems to hover over the Von Erichs, even when they succeed. Efron gives the best performance of his career as the son who wants to succeed, but is always to toe the line and do what Fritz feels is the best for his sons. As someone who watched the Von Erichs during their prime, I was a little disappointed in how Kerry was portrayed, and it’s not the fault of Jeremy Allen White; it’s that the film didn’t capture the charisma and larger-than-life presence of Kerry that we saw on our TV’s every week. The Iron Claw is a film where you know tragedy will strike. You just don’t know how hard. And by the way, the film takes some liberties with the story; there is another son, Chris, who is not shown in the film, and his story is probably the most tragic of them all. The Iron Claw is a film about wrestling, but it’s about family and the heavy weight of expectations that can never be fulfilled. My Rating: Full Price The Iron Claw Website Now playing in theatres nationwide.
My View: American Fiction (2023) R Monk (Jeffery Wright) is a writer whose last book wasn’t exactly a success. He is fed up with ‘Black’ entertainment that relies on tired and offensive tropes. Monk decides to write a ‘Black’ book of his own, and much to his surprise, it becomes a big hit. Now Monk must play the part of a mysterious, anonymous, angry black writer, precisely whom he claims to disdain in real life. This is a film that is easily made in my top ten films of 2023, with a mesmerizing performance by Jeffery Wright and an original script that contains some incredible dialogue. American Fiction is a film that you will talk about long after leaving the theatre, and if Wright doesn’t get an Academy nomination, then there isn’t justice in the world. Wright is perfect as Monk, a man who feels that he embodies what a Black writer should be: intelligent, articulate, and confident. Unfortunately, this isn’t what the modern literary world is like anymore, and his writing style no longer sells books. The film is funny, touching, and filled with a plethora of compelling characters. American Fiction is a film that was a joy to watch from beginning to end, and it’s all because of the brilliance of Jeffery Wright. My Rating: I Would Pay to See it Again American Fiction Website Now playing in theatres.
My View: Maestro (2023) R The love story chronicling the relationship of conductor-composer Leonard Bernstein (Bradley Cooper) and Felicia Montealegre Cohn Bernstein (Carey Mulligan). Leonard was a famous conductor because of his TV appearances and brilliant composing, but he had a secret that threatened his career and marriage. This is an ambitious film with performances that perfectly capture the man and the woman who loved and stood by him through good times and bad. Cooper is captivating as the talented but flawed man whose talent and charisma captured a nation at a time when television began dominating how we saw and understood culture and music. The film is worth the price of admission to see Cooper as Bernstein directs an orchestra for over 6 minutes in the movie, giving us the reason why everyone so loved Bernstein. While Cooper is perfect in the role of the man, it’s Carey Mulligan as the woman behind the man that makes this film work so well. Mulligan is captivating as the woman who falls for this brilliant man and is willing to bask in his shadow, even when he turns his back on her. It’s a moving performance that gives us a look into someone who was used to being in the spotlight but was willing to become part of the team Bernstein, who kept his legacy and his indiscretions away from the public, sacrificing themselves to keep Leonard’s fire of personality burring. Maestro doesn’t quite have the emotional punch as Cooper’s 2018 film A Star Is Born, but it’s still a magical ride into the world of music and the brilliance of a man who, for a time, had the world at the command of his baton. My Rating: Full Price Maestro Website Now playing on the Netflix platform.
Indiefest: All of Us Strangers (2023) R Adam (Andrew Scott) lives in a London high-rise that is nearly empty. He meets what seems to be his only neighbor, Harry (Paul Mescal), a stranger who shows up at his door in the middle of the night. It’s a chance meeting that could change Adam’s life. This is one of those films that is hard to review because I don’t want to give away too much of the plot. Let’s say that what happens to Adam makes us question if what is happening is in his mind or is real. All of Us Strangers is a film about taking chances on love and finding a way to make things right from the mistakes of the past. The performances are brilliant, especially Andrew Scott, who plays Adam as a man who wants to love but has difficulty finding the guts to take a chance. The film is a beautiful and sometimes painful look at family, love, and finding forgiveness. My Rating: Full Price All of Us Strangers Website Now playing in theatres.
My View: Anyone But You (2023) RAnyone But You starts when Bea (Sydney Sweeney) and Ben (Glen Powell) go on a first date that has sparks at first, but then things happen that sour the two on each other. Now they have been unexpectedly reunited at a destination wedding in, of all places, Australia. Their exes are also there, so they do what two mature adults would do: pretend they are a couple. I had fun watching this film as the two leads make a good team together and have great chemistry. The story is a takeoff on Shakespeare’s As You Like It, with the couple trying to fool the rest of the wedding party into thinking that they are really into each other, even though they hate each other. We, of course, know this won’t last, and that’s part of the fun. Anyone But You is a fun rom-com that is a pleasant escape from all the Christmas films seemingly sprouting from every streaming service. It doesn’t hurt that it was filmed in Australia, though I have a feeling that it was shot during COVID restrictions, as we don’t see as much of the country as I would have liked. Still, this is a light, fun rom-com that doesn’t disappoint. My Rating: Bargain Matinee Anyone But You Website Now playing in theatres nationwide.
My View: Poor Things (2023)R Bella (Emma Stone) is brought back to life by a brilliant but unorthodox scientist (Willem Dafoe) by putting a baby’s brain inside a grown woman. Bella is eager to learn and is whisked off to discover life by Duncan (Mark Ruffalo), a lawyer who only wants Bella for himself. Free from the prejudices of the times, Bella is about to discover her place in the world and her purpose, to stand for equality and liberation. Emma Stone is a force of nature in this film, and it could win her another Academy Award. It is hard to describe her performance because she goes from someone who can barely talk and walk to someone who is in control of both her body and her mind. It’s an astounding feat of acting, and it’s wonderful to watch. Now, I will warn you that you will see her character, Bella, have sex a lot. I mean a whole lot. There is a reason, and I won’t ruin it; it’s essential to the storyline. Still, it’s a bit of a shock. Mark Ruffalo is hilarious as the man who seduces Bella and then can’t keep up with her. Willem Dafoe, as the mad scientist (and he is mad), looks as if he is having so much fun in the role, and his character’s face is genuinely horrifying to look at. The story is beautifully told, and the set design, which is best described as steampunk meets 1900 European, is so much fun to look at and significantly adds to the film’s feel. Poor Things is one of the best pictures of the year. It's a strange and funny film filled with surprises and wonder, one I want to watch again. And did I mention that Emma Stone is pretty darn good in it? My Rating: I Would Pay to See it Again Poor Things Website Now playing in theatres.
Forgotten Film: Klaus (2019) PG Jesper (voiced by Jason Schwartzman) is an entitled man who thinks the world owes him a living because of his wealthy family. The Postal Academy has different ideas about Jesper and assigns him to a remote village without postal service for years. Jesper meets a huge, bearded woodworker named Klaus (voiced by J. K. Simmons), and the two start up an unlikely friendship. It’s a friendship that will start an amazing tradition involving gifts given throughout the world. Klaus is a beautiful animated film that never got the attention (or the theatrical run) it deserved. The story is fun, about friendship and how when things look hopeless if you believe, they might turn around and surprise you. Klaus is a delight for the whole family for your Christmas weekend and beyond. My Rating: Full Price Klaus Info
Weird Credits: From the credits of Rebel Moon: Part One - A Child of Fire: Mechanical Teeth
Coming Soon to a Screen Near You: Argylle (2024) PG-13 Elly (Bryce Dallas Howard) is a best-selling spy novelist who rarely leaves home. On a train, she meets Aiden (Sam Rockwell), who tells her he is a real spy and has been sent to save her from being kidnapped. Elly is now living the life that she has only written about, and it turns out that her books are the key to saving the world. Elly and her beloved cat Alfie are plunged into a covert world where nothing and no one is as they seem. I can’t wait to see this film as it is reminiscent of one of my favorite films of the 80s, Romancing the Stone. In theatres on February 2, 2024. Argylle Website
My View: Five Nights at Freddy’s (2023) PG-13 A new security guard (Josh Hutcherson) takes his kid (Piper Rubio) to his new job, the night shift at the old, shutdown Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza. Once upon a time, Freddy’s was the place to be with pizza and animatronic bears singing songs. But something happened to cause the business to close, and the guard and his daughter are about to find out. A review of the film will be up Friday night. The film is now in theatres nationwide. Based on a very popular video game series, this film is not scary enough for horror fans and not gruesome enough for splatter fans. I guess this is Blumhouse/Universal’s attempt at getting kids into horror films. The film’s ending is confusing, and I had questions when it ended that only got answered by some spoiler articles on the internet. Never is a good thing when you have to go on the internet to explain who died and why. By the way, there is a bonus scene after the first part of the credits, and at the end of the credits, a strange computer voice spells out “Come Find Me.’ I believe this will all be worked out in a sequel because there is always a sequel with horror films. I wanted this to be a fun, scary ride in a pizza parlor of your nightmares, and all it got was some burned-out animatronics and no pizza. My Rating: Cable Five Nights at Freddy's Website The film is now in theatres nationwide and on Peacock.
My View: The Killer (2023) RThe Killer is the story of an assassin (Michael Fassbender) who screws up a hit, and someone he cares about has paid the price for his mistake. Now, the assassin is out for revenge but insists it isn’t personal. David Fincher is an interesting director who has given us a wide range of films like Zodiac, The Social Network, Gone Girl, and Mank. I always enjoy his movies, but I had a blast watching this funny black comedy where we follow a hired killer around as he gets revenge on the people who tried to kill him and hurt someone he loves. The killer narrates the film, giving us an insight into how he sees life and death, which he deals with precision and reserve. The killer is a man who is good at his job and takes pride in keeping things under control, even when things don’t always go his way. There will be a great drinking game with this film, and I won’t give it away, but you will be helped by knowing classic TV. Fassbender is perfect as the killer, a man who keeps track of his heart rate, not because of health, but because a slower heart rate means he can shoot his rifle with a better chance of success. The Killer is a film with lots of death, some of which are surprising until you understand the killer’s thoughts. Can you root for a guy that kills people for a living? Maybe, but you can have a fun time finding out. My Rating: Full Price The Killer Website Now playing in theatres nationwide and on Netflix on November 10th.
My View: Pain Hustlers (2023) R Liza (Emily Blunt) is a high school dropout with a young daughter (Chloe Coleman). Liza dreams of a better life for herself and her daughter. She gets a job at a failing pharmaceutical start-up in a strip mall. Liza has the smarts and charm to bring success to the company and is living the life she always envisioned. However, success comes at a price, and Liza soon finds herself at the center of a criminal conspiracy with deadly consequences. I had high hopes for this film, and it met expectations for the first thirty minutes. Unfortunately, the film loses its punch and gets lost in its storytelling while trying to hit us over the head with the idea that Pharma companies are, wait for it, evil and greedy. The film wastes performances by Emily Blunt, who portrays a woman who can talk anyone into anything, and Chris Evans, the sleazy sales guy willing to say or do anything to push the legality of the drug world right up to the line. The film runs out of gas, and in the end, we see the company go under because of greed and thinking they would never get caught. Like the drug the characters were pushing, the film worked at first and then failed to deliver what it promised due to pushing it too far. My Rating: Cable Pain Hustlers Website Now playing on Netflix.
My View: The Other Zoey (2023) PG-13 Zoey (Josephine Langford) is a brilliant computer nerd who loves to study and has her sights set on graduating with honors. Her world is turned upside down when Zack (Drew Starkey), a college soccer star, is in an accident and wakes up thinking, because of amnesia, that Zoey, the first person he saw after the accident, is his girlfriend. Told that he must remember on his own terms, Zoey goes along with the lie, and things get really complicated. In this rom-com, the main character goes through the usual storyline of putting herself in a tough spot to win a guy's heart, only to realize she's falling for someone unexpected. This is nothing out of the ordinary from other rom-coms but for the presence of Josephine Langford. She makes watching this film worth our time. Zoey, who dislikes rom-coms, unexpectedly finds herself in one. Langford's excellent performance makes us cheer for Zoey to realize what we knew from the beginning: the unexpected guy is her perfect match. My Rating Bargain Matinee The Other Zoey Info Now in theatres.
Indiefest: Anatomy of a Fall (2023) RAnatomy of a Fall tells the story of Sandra (Sandra Hüller) and Samuel (Samuel Theis), a famous literary couple living in the French Alps with their partially sighted 11-year-old son, Daniel (Milo Machado Graner). Out for a walk, Daniel finds Samuel’s dead, bloody body in the snow, having fallen from the house’s attic window. Was it an accident? Did Samuel kill himself? Or was he murdered? It’s always interesting when the main character is someone that you don’t like but wonder if you should root for them anyway. This is the case of Sandra, who, right from the start, you feel that there is something up with her as she flirts with a reporter who is interviewing while her husband is right upstairs. This is a film where you will change your mind a dozen times if Sandra is guilty. The film peels back layer after layer as we learn more about their marriage. Sandra Hüller is brilliant as the complex and self-assured writer and mom. Anatomy of a Fall is a movie that gets you sucked in from the opening credits and keeps you wondering beyond the ending. My Rating: Full Price Anatomy of a Fall Website Now playing in theatres.
Forgotten Film: Mrs. Henderson Presents (2005) R Laura Henderson (Judi Dench) is a recent widow who has inherited a lot of money and a rundown London theatre. Bored with life, she decides to reopen the theatre, which goes down in history for one thing: it’s all-nude reviews. This is one of those films that you enjoy from start to finish. Directed by Stephen Frears (The Queen, The Grifters) and a cast that includes Bob Hoskins as Vivian Van Damm, the man Mrs. Henderson hires to run the show, Christopher Guest, Kelly Reilly, and Anna Brewster. Dench has a blast as the unpredictable Mrs. Henderson, who wants to put on a show that no one will forget. Bob Hoskins is brilliant as the showman who initially tries to take over the show, but soon relents to Mrs. Henderson and her ideas. My Rating: Full Price Mrs. Henderson Info Available to rent or buy on Amazon and Apple TV.
Weird Credits: From the credits of The Killer: School Trainee
Coming Soon to a Screen Near You: Maestro (2023) R The love story chronicling the relationship of conductor-composer Leonard Bernstein (Bradley Cooper) and Felicia Montealegre Cohn Bernstein (Carey Mulligan). Leonard was a famous conductor because of his TV appearances and brilliant composing, but he had a secret that threatened his career and his marriage. Bradley Cooper follows up his directorial debut, A Star Is Born (2018), with this film that could be in the thick of the Oscar race. Maestro Website In theatres in mid-December and later on Netflix.
